Too much – maybe???


Oh dear.  I feel a little like the picture – even though it feels like everything is just pouring down on me all at once, I know that in the end it will be okay.  It’s just getting there that’s the problem.

Tomorrow I go to Colorado Springs for my PET test.  That’s the stress test where they lay you done on a table (well that’s a bit simplistic, but still) and give you some drugs to make  your heart race and then they give you some drugs to calm your heart down.  My Uncle Mike’s gone through it, Mom’s gone through it, and now it’s my turn.  And I’m a little nervous about it.

The hunters are down – dove hunters.  They go home later today and tomorrow.  In the meantime, we have a big “feast”, doves, chicken, potato salad, salads (of all kinds), cakes (several birthdays to celebrate), and ice cream.  We used to have home made ice cream, but no body wants to do that any more except me (and I can’t do it this year).  After the big feast, several of the young ones (Okay, so they’re in their 20s and 30s, still…) take a few hours to help us all out on projects that we can’t do ourselves.  This year, they will be bringing a 2-drawer file cabinet over and putting a ceiling fan in my bedroom.  So, I have to have the bedroom swept (My cat is a very messy eater) and they will move the bed out of the way.  I have 10 foot ceilings.  This will be interesting.

I’ve had to have a talk with my land lady about my rent payments.  Fortunately, we worked out an arrangement that allows me a two month leeway in paying my full rent amount.  Ann is the best.  She was more worried about me than the rent payment.  Almost made me cry.

And I’m doing an fair job of not crying.  Even though I feel massively overwhelmed right now.  It’s starting to look like the first week in October for my surgery.  And I’m still more than a little concerned about that.  But, the more I talk to some people, the less my anxiety is.

And I’m not sleeping well.  I start trying to go to bed at 9 pm.  If I’m lucky, I’ll be asleep by 10:30.  Usually it’s after midnight.  Oh well… maybe after this last test I will be able to sleep a bit more.  Maybe.

Well, it’s getting to be that time.  I need to shower and get dressed and finish getting the trash out and gather up my clothes and head over to Mom’s house for “The Big Feast”.  Oh joy.


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