I find myself at a new place in my life. I find that I am content. I am at peace. I’ve accepted all the things that are wrong with my poor old body. And, yes, someday one of those problems will probably kill me, but in the meantime, I’m dealing with it. Doesn’t mean I don’t have days when my knees just kill me to try to walk on them. Doesn’t mean I enjoy days where the smoke or the dust or the heat or the cold make it hard for me to breathe, doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days anymore, it just means I’ve come to accept that it’s a part of my life and I’m just going to have to deal with those days when they come.
I’ve also found that I’m not constantly angry any more. I don’t feel the need to get up on a soapbox every other day or so. Yes, there are still lots of things that I am very passionate about, but I don’t get made at the whole human race, like I use to, when one small segment pisses me off, and they still do. Actually, it saddens me to realize that there are so many wretched people in the world. And animal and child abuse still makes me very angry, idiots who think that just because they’re unhappy or mad or stupid that gives them the right to shoot up a mall or a school or a military base, people who are so set in their ways and their view of the world that they feel it is necessary to destroy a whole country’s history so theirs is the only point of view. These still annoy the crap out of me and still make me very angry, however, as long as I do whatever I can do to make my little piece of the world better and happier, then God can take care of the rest of the stuff. And I think, that’s really the bottom line.
I can’t say that I’ve “found” God. He was never missing from my life, but I didn’t always pay attention to Him. He’s always been there, through everything, helping to make the way smoother, when I would finally get out of the way. I think I have finally learned how to get out of the way, to listen when God sends me a message, and to thank Him everyday whether I can see what He has done for me or not. A lot of things I expected to go sideways in a bad way lately, haven’t. And for that, I am so very thankful. God is good.
So, while I try to figure out what I want to do with this blog, I may be silent for awhile, but I will do something with this, just don’t know what just yet.
Thanks for reading and I’ll be back soon.