My sister is amazing.

Mom's birthday 09 005

I spent the afternoon with my Mom today.  That, in and of itself is nothing exciting.  I spend part of almost every Sunday with my Mom and my sister.  But today was a little different.  Yesterday, Mom had to go to the Emergency Room at our local hospital.  She had a bloody nose that wouldn’t stop.  The ER Doctor got it stopped, but was hesitant, I guess, to give a cause other than living here on the high plains – hot and dry and nose bleeds happen.  I think it scared her a bit.  Then today at lunch, it happened again.  Cindy got it stopped with a trick from one of our great aunts (and she really is a Great Aunt!)  They made a plug out of paper towel and honey and put it up the nostril that was bleeding.  It worked.  The bleeding stopped, but Mom was so afraid that it would start again that she didn’t want to be in a room by herself.  So, while Cindy mowed the front and back yards, I stayed with Mom instead of heading back home, like I usually do.

Now Mom usually goes to her room, gets into bed and naps a bit after lunch.  She didn’t want to do that today.  (Mom has this chair that she used to sit in, but hasn’t for awhile.  It’s such a cool chair.  It raises up to an almost upright position and drops back to an almost vertical position.)  She wanted to sit in her chair while we waited for Cindy to finish mowing.  I told her we could go back to her bedroom, where she would be more comfortable, but she was afraid of laying down.  So, I helped her get into the chair.  It was kind of scary.  She got her foot stuck under the chair and almost fell before we got her in the chair.  Got her situated and found a channel on TV she wanted to watch and settled in the chair across from her.

Soon, she was asleep.  So I got up to check on the laundry and get something to drink.  She woke up and was frantic when she realized no one was in the room with her.  I hurried back to my chair, assuring her that I wasn’t going to leave until Cindy got back in.  So, for the next hour or so, I stayed in my chair, even when she was asleep.

It gave me time to think, and watch her.  She’s 82 years old, but sometimes, I think she acts like a 5 year old.  Cindy has been telling me that her mind is starting to wander on occasion, but until today, I didn’t really believe it, exactly.  I understood what she meant after today.  Instead of my Mom with the razor sharp mind, I was babysitting a scared 5 year old.  It made me sad.

When Cindy got in, and after she took a shower (temps are in the 104 range today), we woke Mom up, got her back into her wheelchair (much easier this time), and she took herself to bed.  A small part of me wanted to be upset that she trusted Cindy enough to go to bed, but not me, but then again, Cindy lives with her, I don’t.

I thought about this all the way home.  Its still there in my mind.  I accept that Mom was scared by the non-stop bloody nose and that, if her mind is a little “diffused”, she would think that I wouldn’t stay with her the same way she thinks of Cindy staying with her.  I don’t know how well I would be dealing with stuff like this as much as Cindy must.  I love my Mom dearly.  But my sister is amazing.  I am in awe of how easily she deals with Mom.  Some day I want to grow up to be just like her.  Well, sort of.


Time Passes


My, how time flashes by.  It doesn’t seem like a month, but it has been.  Well, lets see what’s been happening and what’s new…

I have a very kind gentleman who mows my yard for me when he mows the church’s yard (the Baptist Church is my neighbor).  And I’ve been very happy with him until this last time he mowed.  I know he thought he was being helpful, but he mowed down my mint and weed whacked my trumpet vine.  Sigh!  Oh well.  (I did notice, today when I was watering, that it looks like it’s starting to grow again.  I need to get some sort of barrier so they don’t get knocked down – again.)  He isn’t charging me, so I can’t complain too much, but I will ask that he not mow by the front of the house any more.

As for my other plants, my sister swiped my watermelon plant.  Well, actually Mom said to give it to her.  Out numbered, what can you do?  Never got around to planting my corn, but I do have marigolds and a new mint plant (planted in a barrel so it won’t get knocked down).  All of my tomato plants have flowers and tomatoes on them, I’m so excited!  My rosemary is growing great and the heat finally got to my columbines and bleeding hearts.  I keep watering them so they’ll be back come next spring.

The rains have finally stopped.  Well, they stopped almost a month ago, and it’s been in the 90s and 100s almost every day since.  Now we are back to Red Flag Warnings when the wind starts blowing.  (Red Flag Warnings, for those who don’t know, are warnings that wildfires could be possible, the conditions are right for them to occur.)

We had our bi-annual (every two years) Family Reunion.  It was so great to see everyone.  Some I haven’t seen in 4 or 5 years and some I haven’t seen in 10 years or more.  Mom was so happy at the turn out.  I was so glad for her.

Well, I think that’s about it for now.  It’s hot outside, I’m inside with both air conditioners running and a cold drink where I can reach it.  Meow-Yen Kitty is curled up under the desk, watching me closely.  She’s “in time out” right now.  She figured out how to open the screen door this morning.  Not a fun thing to do at 6 in the morning, chasing her back into the house.  I guess I just have to learn to deal with a scary smart kitty.

Have a good rest of the week, all.



We have had one heck of a thunderstorm.  Continuous rumblings of thunder for close to 2 hours.  Lots of rain, pea sized hail and the tornado sirens went off twice.  I know tornadoes were spotted on the ground, just not really sure where.  It’s just raining now, with an occasional rumble of thunder.  Meow-Yen has come out of her hidey hole and is curled up, sleeping, and snoring, on my feet.  Don’t mind at all.

Bleeding Hearts

Got some of my plants in the dirt.  A super sweet 100 cherry tomato, rosemary and a bleeding heart.  Those got planted yesterday.  Today I got 3 more tomato plants, given to me by a friend who has a farm and has too many tomato plants for the space they have.  They are labeled.  Two are “F” type tomatoes and 1 is a “J” type tomato.  Have no clue, but they will get planted tomorrow.  As will my sweet corn, some beets, some marigolds and maybe some watermelons –  if I have enough pots and dirt.

I noticed, today, that all the rain has helped my two vines out immensely.  The wild grape ivy is about 10 inches high.  The trumpet vine is about 5 inches high.  Need to figure out how to get a net up so the vines have something to grow on.  I also think my mint is starting to grow, too.  Can’t find my poor little rose bush, but I’m seriously thinking of buying one or two full grown rose bushes for that corner.  With lots of thorns, for anybody who thinks they can just knock them over.  (Long, angry story that I’m not in the mood to go into just now.)

I need to trim my red cedar bush, but I need to get a good, sharp, heavy duty pair of clippers.  My red cedar tree lost a branch in the last storm (not the one that just ended).  That made me sad.

Well, that’s all for now.  On a personal note,  I am getting better everyday.  Still working on the stamina part of recovery, but I feel better and breath easier every day.  Does make me very happy.

A New World Order

Dbl Rainbow

These last two weeks have left me shaken a bit.  I got sick.  REALLY sick.  I was so sick that when my Doctor saw me, the first thing he said was, “Don’t really want another hospital patient, but I will just have to deal with it.”  I asked if I had a choice and he said, “sure, you can go to the hospital, or you can go home and wait to die.”  That’s when I started thinking that maybe I was sicker than I thought.  And I was.

I ran very high fever for several days, had a bacterial infection and fluid build up in my lungs (my lungs were functional at less than 85%), a sinus infection, two ear infections and an UTI.

For the first two or two and a half days, I really didn’t care what was going on.  Once they got the temp down, and reality started to set back in, I realized something that every one else around me had already picked up on.  I have severe asthma complicated by COPD.  Any little infection that I get can cause me a great deal of harm.

That’s a hard thing for me to wrap my brain around.  I have to worry about even the common cold now.  Never use to.  And I’m on oxygen, 24/7 for the rest of my life.  That’s the hardest one to deal with.  I’m not even 60 yet, and I’m on oxygen.  For the rest of my life.  Does not make me happy.

However, after these last two weeks, I will learn to deal with it.

And I am still waiting to be released back to work.  Maybe tomorrow…

Woo Hoo!


Well, its all over but the celebrating.  I will be getting my back pay fairly soon, without, I might add, proof of mental competence.  Seems the last person I talked to at the Social Security office “got to thinking”.  She went back and re-read the deposition 3 times and couldn’t find any thing that said I needed a personal representative to handle my finances.  Woo Hoo!  She ended the conversation by saying she was sending out the form to release my back pay that day.  Don’t really know when I’ll be getting it, but I KNOW how much I will be getting.  I have my budget all worked out.  Woo Hoo!

Had a Doctor’s appointment today.  It went pretty good, all things considered.  Blood pressure is almost normal, blood sugar is back down below 200 and I’ve lost another 4 pounds.  Had discussions about the oxygen.  Seems I’ll just have to learn to live with it.  My lungs seem to have been damaged a bit more than the Doctors thought from the anesthesia.  Oh well.  I can handle it.  Don’t much like it, but I can handle it.

Today, even my OA (osteo arthritis) doesn’t bother me very much.  Neither does my sciatica.  All in all a good day.

Oh, I also got a “raise” at work.  (My hours were increased.)

Woo Hoo!

Now, if only I knew….


Okay so, I know, finally, that I have been approved for Disability.  I know I’ll get my back pay next month and that I’ll be getting my monthly payments the third Wednesday of the month, now if I just knew how much I was getting, I’d be in hog heaven.  But that may be a few weeks away…

See, here’s the thing, if you ever talk to a judge, make certain you make statements that are crystal clear.  And here’s why…

The Judge asked me, at one point if I had a valid driver’s license.  I said yes.  He asked if I had a car.  I said yes.  He asked if I was still driving.  I said yes.  He asked if I drove myself up to the hearing and I said no.  He asked why and I said…”My mother didn’t want me to drive up by myself.”  Turns out I should have added, “Because my windshield is cracked and there are a few other possible mechanical problems and she didn’t want me to have any problems.”

I wasn’t clear, and now I’m having to get a letter from my Doctor that says I’m mental sound and able to handle my own financial affairs.  Of course, once my sister heard, she volunteered to be my representative, for 55% of my back pay.  I don’t think so.  She did thank me for giving her the laugh of the year.  It is kind of funny and frustrating all at the same time.

At least I do know that I’m getting my money, even if I don’t know how much yet, so, even though I misspoke at the hearing, I’m relieved and happy.

Its been awhile

I know its been awhile since I last sat down to write.  There have been lots of things going on and I could never figure out what to write about.  I’m still not sure, but I’m going to try to give you smallish idea of everything that has been going on lately…

Where to start…

Still waiting to hear on my Social Security Disability.  It’s been 4 weeks now and I’m starting to get a bit “antsy”.  I have been told that the longer it takes, the better, still, I’m more than a little bit nervous, anxious, worried, frustrated, etc…   Saying I have so many plans for the back pay is an understatement.  And my lists (yes, lists) change almost daily.  Some stuff I really need and some stuff I just want.  Of course, the first two things I’m going to do is my tithe and give half to my Mom and Sister, for all the money and help they’ve given me, mostly in the last couple of years.  Sigh

My hernia repair failed, so I’m back on weight restrictions and hernia watch.  Not very big just now, about the size of a quarter.  We are just going to “watch it” and see if it grows and/or how quickly it grows.  Sigh.

I found out, in the last week or so, that the Senior Center would like to hire me as a permanent employee.  They just don’t have the funds.  And as said funds come through the County, they have to “petition” for the additional $10,000 (approximately) it would cost to hire me.  I would be doing the same things I am now for the same hours and the same pay, but I wouldn’t have to jump through any of the hoops I have to jump through now.  Again, I have to wait.  Sigh.

It’s time to renew my food stamps, and I’m trying to decide if I should.  I probably will, its not difficult to do.  Still…

And finally, on the trying to get things moving side, I have been doing a lot of talking to Father God.  Mostly to keep saying thank you, but occasionally to remind myself that God’s timing is not my timing and I just need to relax and breathe.  Not sigh, just breathe…

And now we wait. And wait. And wait…


So on Tuesday, at 10:30 am, I had my Disability hearing.  Had to drive to Pueblo, which is 125 miles west of here, but first we had to drive to Colorado Springs, another 50 miles or so, because my sister had a dental appointment.  Then back to Pueblo for my hearing.  I was on time, my lawyer was a little late.  We had enough time for our conference before being called into the Judge’s hearing room.  The hearing started at 10:24 am and ended 23 minutes later at 10:57 am.  There were 5 people, the Judge, the clerk, the Representative from Social Security, my lawyer and myself.  We made some concessions, they made some concessions and the hearing ended.  My lawyer says he thinks there is a 95% chance that I will be getting Disability.  He thought the judge liked me, mainly because I looked at him when I answered his questions and I answered all of his question “intelligently”.  Whatever that means.  So, now, I wait for the ruling.  It could take 4 to 6 weeks before I get the letter from the Judge saying Disability has been granted.  Then I have to wait another 2 to 4 weeks for Social Security to set up a phone call appointment to verify every thing and then another 1 to 2 weeks before I get my back pay, minus the lawyers fee.  So, I’m still waiting.

In the meantime, however…  On Valentine’s Day, I spent the morning in the ER because I had severe pain in my right hip.  Pain so bad I couldn’t move without crying.  Turns out I now have Sciatica.  The medicine they gave me for that makes me light-headed and nauseous and a bit disorientated.  I have two more days of the meds to go, and then we’ll see.  Still need to call my Doctor for an appointment.  So, yea, I gotta do that.

Plus I qualified for free weatherization of the house.  They will be here next Friday for 2 hours.  Oh joy.  It is a good thing, really, I just have a lot to do before then and, as usual, not a lot of time to do everything in.  Especially when I’m getting dizzy and disorientated and stuff.

All in all, though, I feel pretty good.  I agreed with the lawyer, I think I will get my disability, and the lawyer and Mom both think I’ll get closer to the higher end of the range, which would be wonderful.  I do feel better, even if I am groggy and light headed and stuff, and getting this house weatherized can’t but help me save money, so, all in all, I’m good.  For a change.

I’m ranting, a bit, tonight…


This has been on my mind for awhile, so I finally decided to get it out of my system and this seemed the best way, fewer feelings will be hurt this way…

I want my Facebook page to be a place I can go to, to catch up with my family and friends, look at cute kitty and puppy pictures, obsess over my favorite TV shows and/or movies, and play some games.  In other words, I want it to be a place where I can go to get away from all the noise and nonsense of the “real” world.

So, and I say with without any rancor or anger or anything negative,  I won’t be “liking” or posting on any of the political rants or challenges or demands that come across my page.  I won’t block or delete any of my friends for that, it’s your right to say what ever you want.  You know, that whole freedom of speech thing.  It’s also my right to not read or remark on any of the posts that I don’t like.

I do have my own opinions and thoughts and feelings, but I prefer to keep these to myself.  I don’t, right now anyway, feel like they need to be aired in public.

Anyway, there it is, Thanks for reading.

Well, this isn’t fun…


Been spending an inordinate amount of time here tonight and I don’t know why.  Haven’t had any signs of sickness, not even a stomach ache so, it has to be something I ate, but, to be honest, I can’t think of what.  Unless it was the licorice.  That’s the only thing I’ve eaten lately that isn’t in my regular diet.  I love black licorice so I bought some.  But, I made it last almost a week, which is good for me.  Hum.  Still, I don’t know…

My TV went out, sort of, this week.  No picture, just sound.  Good thing I had my DVR set to record all my favorite shows.  Will be getting a new, used TV tomorrow, just need to find a place for it.  It’s bigger and older (Analog NOT LED) so it won’t fit where my not working TV is.  I don’t have much room and even less electrical outlets.  But an idea is forming… just have to do some measuring to be sure…

Got my taxes done.  Getting a decent amount back, should help me get caught up on my bills and stuff.

One finally note, next month I have my hearing for my Disability.  So hope I win.  It would be such a big help financially…  Wish me luck.

Now, it’s back to the bathroom and then, hopefully, to bed.

Good night all.

ap-1001-2731-twin-bed-low-profile(Not really my bed, but you get the drift…)