Tag Archives: Seasonal Affective Disorder

SIGH…

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I find myself at the begins of S.A.D.  (Seasonal Affective Disorder)  I was hoping, because everything has been going so well, that I could delay it’s onset, but not so.  In truth, it’s a little early this year, not yet fall.  But that’s as may be.  So, let’s play catch-up.

My Cardiac CT, that my personal Doctor insisted on, went really well.  In fact, the cardiologist used words like wonderful and superb and terrific.  He said all sorts of wonderful things about my heart and the surrounding blood veins, arteries and vessels.  He said there was no sign at all of a heart attack, no signs of any blockages and very minimal plaque.  He said he hadn’t seen a heart in as good a shape as mine, for someone my age, in a long time.  Woo Hoo!  So I celebrated by getting my hair done, a perm and a cut.  (Looks pretty good.)

Now, while all this was going on, we were dealing with smoke from the fires all the way over in California and Oregon.  Also, in the part of Southeastern Colorado that I live in, we were having dust storms.  We had one so bad that it closed the hiways between our town and the border both to the south and to the east.  When you have asthma and COPD, both of those events are not good.  So, after a few days of extra oxygen and allergy eyes, I went to my ophthalmologist for my annual eye exam.  She was new, my older eye doctor having retired at the first of the year.  But I really liked her.  Even if I wasn’t thrilled with her diagnoses.    My eyes, never very good anyway, have gotten to the point that my glasses can only partially correct my vision.  Can’t get it to 20/20 anymore.  I told her so long as it can be corrected so that I can continue to work, I will deal with it.  She smiled and said that not being able to see well enough to do things was a long way off still.  Okay, so I can deal with.  Heck, for most of, if not all of, my life, I’ve been told that I would probably be blind by 60, so no big thing.  (By the way in 4 months I will be 60.)

So, while things are going well, physically, my mental issues are returning.  I’m glad its only seasonal.  Though I’d prefer not to have to deal with them at all.  Even though I still have small bouts through out the year, too many grey rainy days, etc., my worst days are when winter hits.  Last year wasn’t too bad, but with predictions of a cold, wet, El Nino winter, I’m not looking forward to winter…  oh well.  Sigh

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Time Passes…

Rocky Mountain National Park

It has been quite a few days since I last posted.  Reasons are many.  The biggest one has been my S.A.D.  It has really come into its own in the last few weeks.  Especially in the last couple of days.  With this “arctic blast”, named Bozeman, sending massive amounts of nasty cold weather and snow, with the days getting shorter and darker, is it any wonder I find myself sitting and crying, sometimes for no other reason than a sad kitty story, or a story of a romance gone wrong.  Sometimes, I just cry.    (In case you are wondering, S.A.D. stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder.  It means I get really depressed during winter or when there’s no sunlight for long periods of time.  A rather simplistic explanation, but you get the point.)  I still have a little over a month to go before the Winter Solstice.  Sigh.  Another month of short days.

On another topic, for those vaguely interested, my hernia is healing nicely.  I’m going to have a few interesting scars on my left side and it begins to look like I will be on oxygen for a fairly long time, but that’s okay.  I do have a bit of a rash on my tummy.  the Doctor called it Touch Dermatitis, which means that I’m now allergic, just on my tummy though, to something in my clothes.  We’ve tried changing the laundry soap and it seems to help a little.  Its still there, but its not so obvious.  So I’ll keep experimenting till I figure out how to get rid of it completely.

Then my re-certification for food stamps and LEAP hit a rather large snag.  My case worker, whom I have had for 2 1/2 years up and quit and didn’t bother to let any of her clients know.  So, I’ve had to re-apply for both, again.  With LEAP, it’s not a big deal, it doesn’t end till the end of this month.  However, with SNAP (food stamps), my benefits expired on Halloween, so I have been living on bacon and eggs and cereal and soups and oatmeal.  That’s okay, though.  I get a hot lunch at work 4 days a week and I can go over to my Mom’s anytime for lunch, too.  I did find out yesterday that I have been approved for both.  Benefits to start December 3.  (Now, for those of you that complain about people on Food Stamps and LEAP, let me just say this – my take home pay for the month, most of the time is $522.  That has to pay rent and utilities and put gas in my car.  This last month, my take home, because of surgery, was just over $250.  Fortunately I have a very understanding Land Lady and I had paid most of my bills before I left for surgery.)

I’m looking out my front windows and there is blue sky and fluffy white clouds.  Then the wind blows and the snow flies and I look at the indoor/outdoor thermometer and its 19 degrees.  SIGH  I really hate winter.